Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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