My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is Oprah even human
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
