you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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