My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
