10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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