can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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