I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
