she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
