i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
