He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
