My room smells like vodka and shame
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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