i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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