I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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