So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
