I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
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I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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