Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
