Duck Duck Cougar?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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