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  • 95 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 1:47pm

    Sorry to be technical... gestation is 40wks... which equates to 10 mths... it just takes a mth to figure it out hence the "9 mth illness" myth...

  • 90 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 1:53pm

    1:47 yes that equates to 10 months, if the year consisted of months with only 28 days. thanks for playin

  • 91 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 4:58pm

    417 that's why you're going to be alone the rest of your life. And I don't mean alone like you'll never get a girlfriend, that just goes without saying. You will never have good friends because you're just an asshole. And 153, stfu, no one cares.

  • 86 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 30, 09 at 2:12am

    Don't be silly. He was just like when he went out fishing in the back hills of Montana with his old ranching buddy using that fishing pole you bought him.

  • 86 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 4:02pm

    You guys are fucking retards. She's his girlfriend, and she's being glib. GLIB MOTHERFUCKERS YES I SAID IT. He's on vacation, she tried calling him, he doesn't answer, she makes a cheeky statement about how he's probably slipping it into some other ho without protection. There's the sparknotes version.

  • 86 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 1:46pm

    hmmmm interesting context.. this really doesn't sound like a gf.. I'd be f-ing pissed about the 'mistake'.. and I'm more understanding than most.. sister maybe??

  • 84 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 7:12pm

    No one considered this text within the context of a "bromance" -- two men who are talking? I would give my friend shit too if he got so plowed he was unable to operate a phone.

  • 84 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 4:17pm

    Whattafuck she tries calling him for? What's her problem? Dude's needs a vacation to get away from the bitch. Give the guy a break.

  • 85 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 1:27pm

    Pretty sure this text was from the guy.

  • 81 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 2:03pm

    1:53, you're f*cking awesome! 1:47, you're a f*cking idiot!!!

  • 81 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 1:20pm

    cool girlfriend? or overreacting girlfriend?

  • 79 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 5:42pm

    Sparknotes, that was just classic.

  • 75 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 1:42pm

    umm this text isnt from the guy...hopefully the gf just has a great sense of humor...cuz daddy's little mistake in miami for me would be daddy's little mistake in miami that cost him his balls.

  • 78 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 1, 09 at 12:00am

    this literally made me crack up... I took it as a text sent jokingly from son (or daughter) to father...

  • 75 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 3:42pm

    Please get an abortion. And start using birth control. Fucking retards.

  • 76 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 29, 09 at 1:36pm

    Maybe you just sucked in bed, and she didn't feel the need to give you a second chance.

  • 71 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 30, 09 at 12:07am

    sparknotes? HAHAHAH NICE. the OP went hard.