if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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