The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
