i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
