first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
