12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
