I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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