Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
