i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
"it" just moved
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
