I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
