OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
