they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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