So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
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I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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