Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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