I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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