I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
