if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
