My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
