i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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