They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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