I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
