If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
