i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
