Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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