If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I had to cum in my sink.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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