You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
