Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize