haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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