I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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