Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
