And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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