It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
