THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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