I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
