new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
