she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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