Who wears a wallet chain?!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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