Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
