true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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