when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
