Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
