he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
