I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just high enough for therapy.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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