$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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