yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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