Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
