no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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