Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
