I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
