Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(226): View more from Ontario

forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

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(713): View more from Texas

I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer

Fav 19 6146 1092
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(732): View more from New Jersey

mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign

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(813): View more from Florida

I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious

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(619): View more from California

Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.

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(+04): View more from

Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.

(1+04): View more from

I hate Sailor Jerry.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive

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(801): View more from Utah

my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up

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