The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
